Here is something I really like -a poem by Rudyard Kipling which a friend and teacher sent me some years ago. At the time I found it interesting but hard to understand, so I put it aside until recently.

Now I have a new approach to how I apply efforts to investigate and experience… It’s simple common sense really – I don’t accept everything as it first appears but I question, and make efforts to go deeper to understand the hidden meaning, which I have found is often in plain sight.

I strongly believe  that this effort to search for the truth of things is the single most important attitude I have in my search for inner knowledge….



If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise.

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

By Rudyard Kipling

Posted by: gnosticwill | April 21, 2009

The Importance of Sex to the Spiritual Life


While reading my favorite book “The Flight of the Feathered Serpent” I came across something beautiful that spoke to me about sex and where it fits in the spiritual path.

Here is an excerpt from the book.

It’s a beautiful poem and I get so much from it, every time I read it, that I feel the need to share…

Like much of this book it needs a lot of study, quiet thought and meditation to really get the most from.

I find that the longing to know, the longing to understand, is an important key, and through that longing many answers have and will continue to come…

God gave the sun the earth as wife and blessed that love when he created the moon.

In this way he also created you, woman, to pour His life over human love.

And so that in the pleasure of loving the soul finds the path of return to where there is always today, where there is no tomorrow.

For just as life goes to death for love, so does love re-emerge from death where there is an awakened heart that knows how to contain it in its love and in its death.

With each kiss a bit of the soul dies when forgetting what life is in love.

And, likewise, with each kiss, it can revive the soul of the one who knows how to die.

Oh, paradox of creation!

In each breath of love there is a sigh which is eternity.

And each caress the fire of death and resurrection also burns.

Raise the simple and plain love to the highest summits!

And let loving and kissing be a prayer of life to the most intimate being which is the truth and is God.

For it is not you who loves but the love of the Father who lives within you.

Yours will be His most powerful blessing if in each kiss you give and receive you sanctify His name, keeping his presence in your most intimate yearnings.

And in your love, look first for the kingdom of God and his justice too, for everything else, even the privilege of being, will be given to you as well.

And don’t be afraid to love, lest be afraid of those who could turn your love into prejudice or evil.

Make your union a serene path towards the heavens.

While you carry his presence in your hearts, you will truly be loving God above all things as well as loving one another.

And in the instant of your supreme happiness, you will be one with Him and His creation.”

from The Flight of the Feathered Serpent.

or listen to Belzebuub talk about Alchemy and why we need it for our spiritual work

Posted by: gnosticwill | April 5, 2009

Man Know Yourself…

man-know-thyselfEarlier this week I had some terrible news about an ex-workmate, a 15 you old boy who was an apprentice with a friend of mine. I had worked with him a few times earlier this year, and liked him a lot. I felt a little protective of him, as he seemed quite innocent despite having had a hard life, and I thought that one day he would be a good man, when he matures.

If my intuition was working, I was not paying any attention. The poor boy was caught interfering with his 4 year old sister, apparently this had been going on for some time, the sister is an identical twin and there is a brother who is 9. All of them have been interfered with.

When I heard this I felt sick and had to stop what I was doing and really concentrate just to keep listening to the conversation. While I was gathering myself the boys on my worksite had started joking – this made me feel even worse… (I have a lot of thinking to do about the nature of humour).

I could not stop thinking about it and wondered how a 15 year old boy could learn such behaviour? And how he came to be in such an horrific state? And what must have been done to him?

I started to think about how we all have the same potential, and wondered if given the same circumstances I imagine this poor boy has suffered, could I or anyone else have ended up the same, even at such an early age?

In trying to understand how he came to such a place I thought about how I was at 15 years of age, hating the world with a big chip on my shoulder, fighting against everything and blaming my family and my upbringing. Having no concept of personal responsibility or how my actions affect the people around me.

It seems too easy to simply judge him and dismiss him as evil, as different from me, as different from normal people…

It reminded me of something I read in the The Flight of the Feathered Serpent something that Jesus said to the Disciples “do not judge, so that you are not judged, because with the same judgement you will be judged. All that is given to you to see outside is only a reflection of what lies in your heart, the world and men are what you are”.

So I started to look within, to make efforts to understand what lies in my heart. One of the first things I saw is that I continually judge others – the closer the person the more harsh the judgement. In this way I have been doing myself so much harm on a lot of different levels. I noticed how I feed a lot of negativity and pride. I noticed that the pride stops me from hearing what other people say so I devalue their words and cut myself off from so much that could help me. The belief that I know more, am smarter have studied harder – it’s so empty and limits the whole of my life.

How lucky I am to have come across Gnosis to have learned about self observation – to have the tools that give back the responsibility for how I think, feel and act.

Even though this is not really about me, I have learned something valuable … now comes the hard part -facing with courage the truth of what is within and making the necessary changes. What a shame I had to discover something so terrible in a work mate to see something so harmful in myself…

Posted by: gnosticwill | March 26, 2009

The Flight of the Feathered Serpent

fignew37I have been reading possibly the most beautiful book ever written.

The Flight of the Feathered Serpent

It’s a big call I know, but you simply have to read it. If you do read it for your self then you will know what I mean.

Every page speaks to the soul, giving wonderful spiritual teaching that only someone who has the knowledge could have written.

Anyone interested in the Esoteric will love The Flight of the Feathered Serpent.

This book has the unmistakable ring of truth.

Here is an extract from the book.

The feathered serpent must fly. When you know what the flight of the feathered serpent is, you will know what to do. Until then…make it clear that the message of the immortals vibrates throughout the centuries.


The mysterious impulse which focuses your attention upon these manuscripts is nothing but the echo of the cry which has awakened the immortal essence of your own blood. And by invoking the glorious forces of life, simultaneously you have evoked the sinister forces of death.

The former and the latter are yourself, so do not fear.

Confront them, know them, subdue them.

Your destiny is to be master of both.

And even though you often believe you have lost the path which takes you to the awakening, you will never be alone. And your losing the way is nothing but a testing ground in which your alert intelligence attempts shy steps along all tracks, shaking off the lethargy of everything that is mortal.

It is necessary that you obtain experience.

Never ask anybody “What do I have to do?” because that is the most fatal question of all. If you ask a fool, one who is asleep, you will be inviting him to drag you into a dream and with it you will fall into a double foolishness and it will be twice as difficult to wake up again. And if you ask your question to a wise one, an awakened one, you will perceive how useless it is, because an awakened one will always answer:

“Do what you feel is best. If you put your heart in it, always acting in a state of alertness, you will gain a great experience”.

In the end you will make out of solitude and silence you most precious companions, immersing with them into the depths of yourself. You will gradually be astounded at the horror of your ‘dream’ which is your human slavery. And, by the same token your strength to fight back for your freedom will increase.

Not everyone chooses this path which takes you to the very heart of things.

If you have evoked your friends, you have also put your worst enemies on guard. The one and the other will appear within you, and in front of you, in a thousand different forms, and you will often confuse them during your first steps. Your friends will not always be the most charming or pleasant because they will deprive you of everything you regard as stable.

Then your jealous enemies, smirking, will display in front of your inner vision thousands of possibilities to elevate you to your actual condition. If you give in and bite the poisoned fruit which they offer, you will become tied up with the triple chains of illusion and of sleep that always takes over those who are naïve and do not know the value of experience and opposition.

Soon, however, you will know your friends in the infinite silence that you will throw yourself into, longing and thirsting for words of truth. It is then that you will feel that ‘something’ flowing, rough or smooth, depending on the circumstances, and the mere fact of feeling it will show you that you are on the path to the complete awakening.

Because that word that something is you yourself the Master the Creator.

From The Flight of the Feathered Serpent by Armando Cosani

saint-john-of-the-crossI love this work by Saint John of the Cross and in particular this translation which Loreena McKennitt used for a beautiful song in her album The Mask and the Mirror.

The words resonate within me; because there is something there which I can’t quite put my finger on, perhaps I simply need to reveal its secret for myself and the act of seeking answers to something that is not easily understood is what intrigues me. What ever the motivation, this poem has hidden depth – I would love to hear what other people have understood from their own investigations…

I have read the first book which explains this wonderful poem but keep going back to the poem itself looking for something more….

The Dark Night of the Soul

Upon a darkened night

The flame of love was burning in my breast

And by a lantern light

I fled my house while in quiet rest

Shrouded by the night

And by the secret stair I quickly fled

The fail concealed my eyes

While all within lay quiet as the dead

Oh night thou was guide

Oh night more loving than the rising sun

Oh night that joined the lover

To the one beloved

Transforming each of them into the other

Upon that misty night

In secrecy, beyond such mortal sight

Without a guide or light

Than that which burned so deeply in my heart

That fire ‘twas led me on

And shone more brightly than the midnight sun

To where he waited still

It was a place where no one else could come

Within my pounding heart

Which kept itself entirely for him

He fell into his sleep

Beneath the ceders all my love I gave

From o’er the fortress walls

The wind would brush his hair against his brow

And with its smoothest hand

Caressed my every sense if would allow

I lost myself to him

And laid my face upon my lovers breast

And care and grief grew dim

As in the morning’s mist became the light

There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair

There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair

There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair


Posted by: gnosticwill | March 7, 2009

Getting through suffering to reach peace


Watch Belzebuub an Awakened internationally renowned Gnostic teacher talk about how to find peace.

What is peace? Is peace simply the absence of war?

Peace is a spiritual quality which can only be felt from within, it is not dependent on the situations of life or the beauty of the place you find yourself in, nor is it found in possessions or status.

Here is something Belzebuub wrote on peace. It’s a preface from his book “The Peace of the Spirit Within”

At the end of the day I like to walk a little up the hill. It’s usually pleasantly warm at sunset. I have a seat where I like to sit; it’s positioned so that I can look out over the forest to the valley below and to the mountains in the distance. I have certain advantages when I sit there, one of them being that I already have peace.

It’s a peace that does not depend upon the mountains, nor the view, nor the climate, nor upon anything external;it’s a peace that emanates from within.

Its immensity overpowers emotion, overpowers thought and extends to the whole of creation.

It emanates with love to every living thing.

As the sun sets, the light begins to fade, twilight spreads and birds call out noisily to signal the end of the day; the creatures of the day make their way to rest where they will and the creatures of the night begin to appear. In this transition the sounds of nature change and the cycle of life in sound progresses.

Belzebuub, Death, Egos, Gnosis, Inner Peace, Videos, , , , , , , , ,

photo0015The other day our family had a small drama. The eldest boy (10 years old) was playing on his laptop computer first thing in the morning before completing his jobs.

When I questioned him about it he said he didn’t know and he thought he was allowed to play with his computer before doing his jobs on the weekend, which I of course knew to be untrue. So I checked with his mother who said he knew the jobs had to be done first every day of the week.

I asked him why he did it, and he could not answer. So I asked him if he just wanted to play and that is all he thought about. “Yes” was his grumpy answer. Then I asked if he did not think about the consequences. “Consequences?” he said.

“Yes” I said, and then there were a lot of tears, anger and even more weak excuses. The excuses or rather the lack of responsibility bothers me a lot.

After a few minutes in his room to calm down I asked him to come to the breakfast nook — we had a discussion about the nature of desire, rationalisation and ill will.

All this started me thinking. If our children learn from our example not our words, then what example am I giving him? Being aware of how important this skill is, how is it possible that I have not been actively demonstrating it?

I wonder? What do other spiritually minded people do with their children when confronted with similar circumstances?

st-francis-birds-21When my wife and I were married we asked one of her boys to read this Prayer as part of the ceremony. He did a wonderful job making it particularly beautiful. Since then I have been making efforts to bring this practically into my life.

The last line has special meaning for me. “And it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life”.

In working to understand this practically I have discovered that the very act of applying an effort to understand is how answers come and knowledge is gained. I gained knowledge now just about this Prayer but about myself and how I interact in the world.

I wonder if there is even more depth of understanding available to me. I am glad that I was not satisfied with my first thoughts about what this wonderful prayer actually means.

In studying each sentence or even each word in my daily life I discover new significance greater depth and meaning. Now I make efforts to approach every thing with this idea, the idea of having a beginners mind…

The Prayer of St Francis

Lord make me an instrument of your peace

Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there is injury pardon
Where there is doubt faith
Where there is despair hope
Where there is darkness light
Where there is sadness joy

O Divine Master, grant that I may

Not so much seek

To be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love


It is in giving that we receive
It is in forgiving that we are pardoned
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Posted by: gnosticwill | February 22, 2009

How do I understanding the reality of the Christ.

Is it possible? What is the truth? How do we find it?
Is it as simple as sincerely asking the Divine?
What is this longing to understand things outside of our physical experience?

Posted by: gnosticwill | February 11, 2009

My blog is about a continuing journey of self-discovery.

billFor as long as I can remember I have been searching. At first I didn’t understand what it was that I was feeling; it was a vague uneasy feeling; somehow, intuitively I knew there was more to life. At the time I didn’t understand it was a longing for the truth for something Spiritual.

I had no confidence in organised religions which seemed to talk about one thing while doing another. Their priests, the very people whose example we were meant to follow were in the news for committing unspeakable acts. While people starve in many parts of the world the organised religions amass ridiculous sums of money.

This feeling made me search. During my search I tried many things from Martial Arts like Aikido and Karate to different types of Zen and Zen Buddhism – nothing seemed to satisfy this feeling.

Then I discovered Gnosis.

I was volunteering on an Aikido stand at the Mind Body Spirit Festival, and next to our stand was the Gnostic Movement……

I was volunteering on an Aikido stand at the Mind Body Spirit Festival, and next to our stand was the Gnostic Movement……

So during a quiet time I slipped next door to have a chat… The people in the next booth were very interesting, mostly because the listened to me – no I mean really listened.

They were there to promote their courses; everything was for free which really caught my attention as everyone else I had spoken to at the Mind Body Spirit just wanted to sell me something.

The courses covered many topics like dreams and out of body experiences (OBE’s), self knowledge, awareness, the nature of consciousness, mantras and meditation. But I didn’t pay much attention to any of that, I just talked about Aikido. I still had no understanding of what that feeling was.

Luckily my girlfriend at the time picked up one of the flyers advertising a free course in Astral Travel. It must have been months later I found myself attending the Astral Travel introductory course. My girlfriend had to drag me along – she had even conscripted a mate to make sure I came; otherwise I am sure I would never have gone.

Right from the start I had to suspend my disbelief, or at least keep it to myself, as I had no experiences of so called spontaneous astral projection like some people in the audience had. (Yeah Right!)

I did enjoy one thing about the introductory course. The guy giving it said he didn’t want us to believe him; he just wanted us to listen, and take the information home to practice and investigate so we could confirm the truth or not for ourselves. It was enough to get me back to the second lecture… where that vague feeling finally started to find some satisfaction…

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